Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Everybody has a baby but me, including my husband!

About a year ago my husband received a summons. About a month later he decided to show it to me. We were watching my favorite show, his first mistake was waiting a month to tell me about it, his second was pausing BSG to tell me. Oh no wait, his first mistake was banging that skank bag 4 and a half years ago...the summons was for a DNA test. 'HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?' I asked of myself, marrying a man with a kid!!! Not in the plan man, not in the plan. When I was husband hunting on eHarmony and a plethora of other dating websites the first button I clicked was 'MUST NO HAVE KIDS'. Not that I have a problem with children at all, I have 9 nieces and nephews that I love more than anything, it was more the baby momma I was all set with, because there is inevitably a baby momma. Thankfully when he told me I was able to keep it together. After several minutes of not being able to breath or speak I said 'ooookay, and you waited a month to tell me because?? You're whole family and their friends new before your wife because......?' He's afraid I'm going to leave him...at this point we don't even know if it's his kid, it had been 4 and a half years, I'm surprised he remembered the momma's name! I don't think I remember all the guys I slept with 4 and half years ago! Anyway, what was he thinking, I'm going to leave because he might have a kid he knew nothing about when we met...after all my slutting around back in the day, I couldn't in good conscience leave him for that.....pausing BSG to tell me when he'd had a month to do so, grounds for divorce. Lucky for him I'm not that evil either.

So we spent the year going back and forth to court. Finally after a terrible year (His father passed away, I had a miscarriage and a heart related scary trip to the hospital) it gets worse or better, not sure yet. It's his kid, a girl of course- I'm thinking this means when we have our one kid it won't be the little girl I always dreamed about having. I of course spent these months 'gently reminding' him about paperwork that needed to be done for court and research he should be doing, and 'gently' watched him not do it. Lots of arguments about paperwork and lawyers and bullshit. I hated every second of it. I wanted to throw him of the roof, I wanted to hunt down the baby momma and give her a piece of my mind and my fists! I did drive byes on a regular basis, her address was on the court paperwork we got. She lives in a crappy little house. The lawn looks like it's never been mowed. A dirty rusty swing-set in the back of the house. Kitchen cabinets on the side yard, lots of crap. Is this a reason to call DSS, I don't know. I don't know how involved I want to get. So I don't. After helping with all the court bullshit, it's all over and I'm all done. It's all up to him now, does he want to see the kid, I don't know, he can tell me when he decides, if he ever decides.

We pay child support, an amount that, thanks to the baby momma, is half what it could have been per court order. The amount still has us in a pretty deep hole of debt, but we're not on the street..yet;-) It's been a year and half of trying and I'm still not pregnant (I'm not wicked patient). My 3 closest friends and one of my sisters have either had or are having babies. Everyone I work with, it seems, has had a baby in the past year....is it my turn yet?

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