Sunday, September 21, 2008

Because I don't want a fucking sandwich!

When Husband and I sat down with MIL to discuss us moving in we had 2 BIG conditions. 1. Brother in law-dead beat, finger missing, jobless, douche-bag had to move out first. 2. there would be no more smoking in the house by anyone at anytime ever. MIL agreed, seemed like she thought it was reasonable. Now we're ready to move in, months later. BIL is not moving out, still a dead beat, finger missing, douche-bag, but now actually has a job-he's been fired from every job he's ever had so lets cross our fingers (ha!) shall we. The smoking is still up in the air which I will address in my next post.

So today we're moving stuff into the house. Official date is this coming Saturday. I walk in the house and MIL asks "what can I get you? Soda? Tea? Coffee? did you have lunch? Let me get you a sandwich, there's tuna fish in the fridge." I POLITELY say "No thanks MIL". "What did you have for lunch?" she asks kind of angrily. "I didn't". "Well then have a sandwich" says MIL now sounding like a hurt puppy. Again, "NO thanks". "Why don't you want something to eat?"anger in the voice again....seriously........"I'm not fucking hungry." I wish I had put the fucking in there so bad. Food pushing pain in my ass. "Have a soda, have a cookie, have a danish, cup o tea, coffee, want to suck on a used douche bag?" Oh yes that last one I'll have that, I've said no to everything you've offered, which is pretty much every bit of food in the house but the used douche bag is making my fucking mouth water uncontrollably!

I'm recovering from open heart surgery-recovering well too. Part of my recovery is to walk everyday, and I've recently been cleared to do whatever I"m comfortable doing except drive. So I"m a responsible self aware adult. I know my limits being an adult and all. At the MIL's trying to move boxes I tell her this-"doc's cleared me to do whatever I feel comfortable doing" I try to pick up a not so heavy box (because I know my limits being a grown up and all) and she PUSHES me out of the way and tells me not to. It took every little bit of strength I have in my body not to push her right the fuck back. Come to think of it, I should have! Damned hind sight!

2 comments:

Cristin said...

Go suck a used douche bag... I can't wait to use that one.

Bad Mommy said...

Hahahahaha!!! Where have you been hiding?

MIL's are SO FUN, aren't they? Mine force fed me a ham and cheese Hotpocket once. I vomited a bit in my mouth with each bite....